Put a little kindness in the world

Lyric Kinard at http://lyrickinard.blogspot.co.nz/2012/03/kindness-chronicles_04.html   has written a great blog about being kind.  What can we do to be kind in the world?  She has listed listed some wonderful ideas and challenged us to make an effort to be kind.  So here is some of the kind things I have done these past couple of weeks....

• Told a lady at the supermarket she looked beautiful (this one always embarrasses my kids)
• Made smoothies for breakfast for everyone
• Told a child her hair looked lovely
• Phoned a friend have troubles
• Prayed for a friend in need
• Popped in and saw a friend whose dad is sick
• Did a chore normally assigned to one of my kids
• Sat and listened to a teenager
• Defended a person who was being put down
• Gave away produce from my garden (this one was kind to me too....does this count?)

What have you done kind this month.  Join us on our quest for kindness

My daughter leaves this week to university.  She is going to be 6 hours away by car and I am going to miss her so much.  I just hope that I have taught her enough and given her enough skills so she can survive. 

It is a funny feeling to let a child leave the nest.  So much time is invested in this amazing person  My life has been so much part of hers for 18 years  and now within 1 day she will be more independent and not in my life each day.  Part of me is celebrating her Independence and part of me wants to go back to when she was 2 and I was the centre of her world.  Life is like that though.  Life moves on whether I want to too or even if I am ready too.  It sometimes seems to to go so fast and other times slower that I think it can be possible. 

What do I want her to do?

• Eat well
• Wash your clothes
• Clean up after yourself so you don't get swamped down.
• Love
• Laugh
• Have fun
• Look after yourself first so you can give to others
• Be nice
• Serve others
• Work hard
• Go to church

If I could tell her anything I would say

• Be kind and thoughtful
• Be patient
• Have good integrity
• Remember you are a child of God
• Remember God is always there for you and he loves you
• Be proud of your name and wear it well
• Always stand up for what you believe in
• Be careful and give trust away when it has been earned
• Enjoy being you

In reality I will probably just tell her that I love her and hope all those lessons I have taught her in the last 18 years will already be cemented in her heart.  I need to trust that she already knows these things and will do herself proud.  Boy this is such a hard thing to do but I know I will survive.  I have done it once already and I made it to the next day in one piece.

Managing a home with a positive spirit

Do you have days where it feels everything is just collapsing around you?  Days where everything coming at you is negative, draining and filled with frustration. The moans, complaints,  constant listening,  and always having to be on board at your best.  If you do you are not alone. 

This picture seems like me sometimes at home trying to stay on top of things and not to get dragged down by others.

One thing I have learnt though is that........



Having a positive outlook even when things seem to beat down on you is imperative.  How can we as mum/women remain positive and have good emotional health amongst all this battering and to be able to follow your dreams.



Taking a sleep always feels like a good option :)  but unfortunately the problem is still there when you wake up.  sigh......

I have found some things that work well

• Take time out daily.  Even if it is only listening to a piece of music you love or reading a chapter of a book.  I have had to become very creative to get my reading time (as I am a book worm)  I have book on the toilet that I read 2 pages of when I use the loo.  It takes me a while to get through a book but at least I can get a little bit of time to read.
• Remember that you are the manager of the house.  Would you let your staff treat you like dirt?   I certainly wouldn't.  It doesn't matter whether it is a child or an adult in your home protect yourself.  Be direct though IE I don't like it when you talk to me like that can you please stop.  If you chose not to I will have your phone..... I will walk out the room......I will put you in time out ..... We are not punching bags but human being that need respect
• If I get a complaint for any child about a job they have been given I give them another one.  They learn fast!
• If I feel negative I read some inspiring quotes or I read a motivational book. 
• Phone someone.  A problem shared is a problem halved.
• Get out of the house on your own once a week.  I know this can be had a certain times of life but I know it can be achieved.  One thing that worked for me when I had very young children was to swap babysitting with another mum.  This meant we both got out once a week. I found I had to schedule time so I became a priority
• Take time to seek to understand before you try to be understood.   (This is one of Steven Covey's principles.) Just by understanding people your attitude can shift.
• Plan successes in your life.....don't plan to fail. Make small goals and stick to them
• Learn what drains you.  My biggest drain in being disorganised.  The more organised I am the more positive I am.  Work out what is your biggest drain in your life and make a change.
• Serve others.  I can be much more positive when I help others.
• Learn to say no to unimportant things.  Just focus on what gives true happiness and true fulfilment



What do you do to stay positive?



Inspiration Saturday

The girl who silenced the world for 5 mins

This clip is a number of years old but still is so relevant for all of us today.

Most of us can't change the whole world but we can make a difference to the community we live in. 

 What are WE going to do to make our part of the world a better place?  

What are WE going to do to clean up our community?

What are We going to do for our starving children of country?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQmz6Rbpnu0&feature=related

Be inspired!

Severn Cullis-Suzuki is now 32 years old and a environmental activist and speaker.  She is still fighting for our world.

Being thankful

Through all the blogs I read from America there seems to be one theme at the moment....Thanksgiving.  This is not a celebration we have in NZ but I wish it was. 

What a lovely reason to celebrate, being thankful for everything in our lives.  I'd like to think that we take this one day into our hearts and make it stay there all year. 

I know though it is very hard to do this as life just take over and sometimes even just gets in the way.  So today I am going to write my own thankful list.  Even after the year our family has I am still so very grateful for so many things

• That everyone is alive and our house is still standing
• That I am loved
• That my children value life (My daughter found the cat with a baby bird last night and carefully cared for it.  Many tear were shed this morning when it had died in the night)
• A home
• Democracy....I was able to vote last week in our elections
• I have a brain that works and functions (most of the time :)
• I can sew
• I can draw
• I have a family
• I have values
• I have Christ in my life
• I have not had to spend any time in jail and I have my freedom
• I can walk, run (sometimes he he) and jump
• I can pursue my dream of being an artist so many people can't
• That I have transport
• That I can read and write
• That I have been able to get an education
• That I am a woman

What are you thankful for???

I am sorry for the lack of posts over the last few weeks.  I have had a lot of family issues going on and a lot going on in my personal life.  I am hoping to be back on board next week after things are start to settle down. Hopefully by then I will be starting to see the light again.  Until then have a lovely weekend full of joy and love.  I found this beautiful quote last night (unfortunately with no author so I can't give credit where it is due) it was so inspirational for me.

Joy is the sacred quality that

laughs at the inability of outward

circumstances to affect us.

Inspiration Saturday

I found this wonderful philosophy today.  It certainly put things in perspective. 

Charles Schulz Philosophy
 

 

    The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the  questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

 

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.  

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.  

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.  

 4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.  

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.  

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

 

                           

 How did you do?  

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

       

 

   Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.  

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.  

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.  

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.  

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

 

 

 Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

 

   

 "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schulz)

http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/schulzphilosophy.htm

Back again

We had a few beautiful days away.  I spent quite a bit of time visiting gardens,  eating and sleeping.  How much more does one need :)

Having a break is so important, it gives me a new perspective on problems and a time to refresh my spirit.  I have been very blessed this year to have 2 nights away in January for my 20th wedding anniversary and a few nights again last week with my hubby.  This is the first time this has happened in a year. and it has been wonderful. 

We all deserve a break from weighty responsibilities and cares of the world.  Not in a selfish way but to recharge your batteries and to connect with the other half and yourself.  But it is easier said than done.  I have found a few ways to do this on a daily basis even with kids at home.

One of the hardest things for my is to truly stop.  My mind races ahead and I have so much on going on in my head I can't switch off.  I have had to practice very hard to think and feel in the present.  A couple of things help to do this.  First I find that concentrating on all the things your senses experience helps.  First look around you and see what you can see then what can you smell, what can you hear etc.  Take good note of all the things you can use your senses for in the present. Another way to help being present centered is to force yourself not to think of things that have happened or are going to happen.  I do this by forcing thoughts out of my mind that are before or after where I am.  I push those thoughts away and focus on what I am doing now.



http://www.nextsmallstep.com/2010/08/after-you-have-learnt-to-prioritize-and.html

I try and have a 20 minute power nap everyday.  This helps me to regather my energy and refocus in the afternoon rush.  Not everyone may need this but I do as I have kids up in the morning at 5am and other not in bed till 9pm.  So it is a really long day when I still have things to do once every one is in bed.

It is OK to turn off electronic devices.  We have all become very used to being contacted 24/7 we don't need to be.  It is OK to be non contactable some parts of the day.  Do whatever it takes.Turn off the phone,  take the land line off the hook,  don't check e-mails more than once a day,  Let it all go.

The other thing I have always tried to do is to have 1 hour on my own everyday.  It doesn't always happen but I try to do this at least 5 times a week.  When the kids were little I would do this when they were having afternoon rest time.  Right up to 5 (school age in NZ)  my wee ones had an hours rest everyday.  They could read or play quietly in their rooms.  This gave my brain a much need rest from the chattering and constant running around. 

I use this time in a variety of ways.  I might phone a friend, read, do art work,  have a snooze or sing.  Whatever works today.  Not only does it save my sanity but has also modelled to the children the importance of looking after my self.  I always use this time for myself.  This has never been time to do housework.  I figure housework will always be around but I won't be.  So my prioroty is to discover more about myself not more about cleaning :)

This pattern has blessed me to refocus my energy,  to feel more likely to give to others,  it has helped me to remember my needs and to help myself extend my talents.

Blessings

Sorry for my gap in blogging last week.  It was one of those weeks I don't want to repeat for a while.  I am laughing because I don't want to cry :)  and it is also easier to try to see the goodness in the week rather than the negative. 



Between the doctors visits,  family cirsis's, vet visits and sadnesses of last week I found love of families,  support of friends,  the power of prayer,  blessings of safety and a huge amount of patience I didn't know I had.  I love it when through challenges so much growth happens and a positive attitude reigns supreme. 

This blog today is one of thanks for spring flowers blossoming and rain falling to give us water in our water tanks.  Thanks for families who love no matter what and for the gift of friendship.  Thanks for the power to stand through the strong winds and to gain greater roots to with stand the winds ahead. Thanks for the understanding to have faith in people even when their actions could dictate to me to think other wise. 



What can you be thankful for today?  write a list in your gratitude journal.  How many thnings can you find.

Lifes musings

I lost a friend this week to cancer.  My 6th friend in 7 years.  She was only 53 a a dear woman. My husband also lost a friend of the family this week to cancer and I have just found out a lady I worked with at Paycentre has only days left to live.  I don't know if it is because I am getting older or cancer is more common but so many people I know seem to have been touched by this disease.

Life is so fragile it is here and then gone.  Like a leaf blowing in the breeze floating away.  My friend had lived 53 full and good years.  Full of love, service and work.  She was kind and generous to those she met and loved people before anything else. She was only diagnosed 5 weeks ago and she quietly slipped away with her husband by her side.  It was sudden and unexpected she was given a good chance of recovery.  It was like she was here and then just gone.

How often do we take life for granted?  How often do we take other's lives for granted? Do we value each moment enough?  I don't think we really fully appreciate a lot of what we have until we lose it.  I learnt many years ago to value our family members,  while we have them, after losing a auntie from multiple sclerosis.   I missed her so much.  I was so grateful that my parents took the time to visit her regularly and gave me the opportunity to get to know her.  It taught me so much about love, living now and valuing what we have when we have it.  It is hard to measure the value in that.  Many times I am tempted to protect my own children from death and pain but I have realized it is important for them to learn that death and pain are an important part of life.  My children have gone to many funerals and had many opportunities to help those in pain.  they have grown from it.  They have gained so much empathy and sympathy for others and have such a good understanding of feelings of others. 

Each day is precious and valuable,  it is a chance to love, learn and grow. 

Make a pledge today to treasure and value what you have. 

Inspiration Saturday

This wonderful story has really helped me see my life in a different way.  I hope you love it as much as me

One Grocery Store's Most Important Employee....Boy With Down Syndrome

• --by Barbara Glanz I always leave my telephone number and e-mail address with audiences, encouraging them to call me if they have questions or want to share a success story they experienced by adding a personal signature to their work. About a month after I had spoken to the supermarket folks I received a call from a front-line customer contact person, a nineteen-year-old baggerThe caller, who proudly informed me that he was a Down syndrome youngster, told me his story. "Barbara, I liked what you talked about!" Johnny said excitedly, "but I didn't think I could do anything special for our customers... After all, I'm just a bagger. He decided that every night when he came home from work, he would find a thought for the day. "If I can't find a saying I like," Johnny said proudly, "I think one up!" With the help of his dad, he copied and cut out each quote of the day. "When I finished bagging someone's groceries, I put my thought for the day in their bag and say, 'Thanks for shopping with us.'"

  A month later the store manager called me. He told me... "When I was making my rounds, I found the line at Johnny's checkout was three times longer than anyone else's! It went all the way down the frozen food isle. I was concerned, so I announced 'Get more cashiers out here; get more lanes open!' all the while trying to get these people to change lanes. But no one would move. They all said, "No, it's okay - we want to be in Johnny's lane - we want his 'Thought for the Day.'"

  Johnny's spirit of service transformed that store. The manager later called and told me how each of his departments was coming up with their own personal touch and all because of one young man with Down syndrome who decided he could make a difference!
  http://kleerstreem.posterous.com/one-grocery-stores-most-important-employeeboy

I have chosen to find at least one person at the supermarket each week and to tell them they look beautiful.  My children have started to copy me too.  I can make a difference in this one small way.

How can you make a difference today!!

While I was away last week I took time to reflect on how I use my time and I evaluated where I am going in my life.  My life seems to run away into now where.  I feel I am often just chasing my tale and not really accomplishing much.  So after attending a time management for farming women workshop before I went away last week I decided it was time to look at how I use my time.  The principles of the evening where to make goals and then plan your time to meet these goals.  It was a very simple and efficient way to organise time. 



I spent a bit of time thinking through what I want in my life.  I have decided on these goals

• To continue drawing everyday in my sketchbook
• To practice machine quilting 2 times a week
• To spend time playing and experimenting with equipment I already have in my studio.

I am going to try to also

• To exercise  daily so I have more energy to work at my art
• To listen to an play music daily to re energise my soul
• To study the scriptures more to re energize my spirit

My family and I are going to try

• Spend a little more time together
• I am going to have a date with my husband at least 1 time a fortnight (rather than monthly)
• To be more organised at home so I can get on with my art more

I know this will not be easy but it will be worth it.



When I started to place appointments and purposeful planning to meet these goals I found that I have a few pockets of time I can use to improve relationships and improve my art.  Evaluating time this way has helped me to see how well I think through what I do and how well I take time to rest and to re charge. 

Now all I have to do is stick to my plan!

Women

Last night I went to a Farming discussion group for women.  Dairy NZ run groups for farmers to help them in their businesses,  with networking and with support for their systems on their farms.  In this particular area they hold one of these groups specifically for women.  Last nights key note speaker was a specialist on time management. She was amazing and very inspiring.  I learnt a lot about using my time and using it efficiently but one the most important things I learnt was the importance of networking and supporting each other as women.



Each little thing we give and support each other in are big things.  We need each other to be whole.  I think every encounter we have with other women can be a blessing.  We can build up rather than tear down, we can love rather than hate and we can be unified rather than bicker about each other.  We can inspire each other to become better an do better things with our lives.

 

We are blessed now to be able to form relationships with other women across the world through technology.  I am inspired by a friend I met on the sketchbook challenge Dion.  She deals with some very challenging things in her life but still has to time to uplift others though her thoughtful comments and her art.  I have never met her in person but she lifts me up and inspires me.

I have friend that have come and gone in my life and ones that have been around a long time.  I have one friend I met on her first day of school.  We were five.  We have been through a lot of things together.  She knows the meaning of true friendship. 

Why is it with all the wonderful opportunities to help and support so many us spend so much time bickering and gossiping when that time could be spent helping and assisting.  We all have a responsibility to choose to be nice and to choose to support all those around us.

This can be darn difficult and some people are hard to get on with but I have this theory that We don't have to like every body but we can still love them.  I can spend time with everyone just some people I only have time with in 5 second doses and other 5 year doses. 

What ever others choose I can choose to be nice no matter what other women choose,  I lift up even if other pull down and I can love even when others hate.  What will you choose to do? 

Inspiration Saturday- funny quotes

A conclusion is the place where you
got tired of thinking. 
~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

Don't worry about the world

coming to an end today. 

 It is already tomorrow in Australia. 

~Charles Schulz

The large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.  ~Tom Waits, Small Change

 There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld 

(He must have teenagers !)

 I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.  - Stephen Wright

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools.  Let's start with typewriters.   Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

Sometimes you're the windshield:  sometimes you're the bug, - Mark Knopfler.

Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, a dark side,

and it holds the universe together. 

~Carl Zwanzig

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. 

~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

 

You can't have everything... where would you put it?  ~Steven Wright

Patience

Patience is a virtue I sometimes lack. 




It is not that I don't try hard or put effort in.  I just think it is one of those things that will always be my struggle.  I have come a long way since I have had a family but I still have a lot to learn. I am a bit like this chicken......

As a child I was very impulsive and wanted things done right away.  I wouldn't get things finished unless it was a short job because I couldn't see the results straight away.  But I could ask question incessantly and never ever paused for a breath (hmmm...actually that really hasn't changed :) I still talk a lot) and I was patient if something really interested me, like a puzzle or a fun game, I always had to win (.....hmmm...actually that hasn't changed much either :) And I always could test others patience but the patience with people was very hard.

I had a strong sense of justice and could never figure out why people made choices they did.   I have learned that everyone makes choices for their own reasons and that that is their choice and that I need to accept and be patient with them. 

Patience is just waiting and keeping time.  it is learning to do it cheerfully and to be nice about it. I thought these quotes really get patience in a nutshell..

What I have learned about patience.....

• Being patient is a state of mind
• Being patient while 6 people are talking to you at once is very hard
• Being patient is difficult after you have found the toilet needs cleaning the 4th time that day
• Patience is a skill that gets well developed as a parent and family member.
• Patience needs to be worked at daily every experience at a time
• As my ability to be patient increases more challenging circumstances present themselves.
• Small things are harder to be patient with than really big things ie The toilet needing to be cleaned v major trauma. 
• It is an ongoing evolving skill
• I find being patient a challenge when I am sleep deprived.
• I am going to not be perfect at being patient in this life and it is O.K.

Negatives into positives

I sometimes get caught up in the negative crushing world of my own self doubt.  Not knowing who I am or where I am going, life sinks around me and I feel like I am falling into a black hole.  When I start sliding into this negativeness I now have the skills and I am well enough to get myself out of the hole. 

It hasn't always been like that.  After suffering crippling Post natal depression on 3 different occasions and one episode of anti-natal depression. Negativity was a world I lived in constantly albeit not much fault of my own.  I have found being positive very difficult especially during the times I was sick.   It got to the point that when I felt good I thought something was wrong with me. 





But after a lot of work I now am completely well. Now the negativity I have is just normal run of the mill stuff but it can still wear me down.

I have found a few things seem to get me feeling more negative.  When I get forced into a situation by other people,  when I have negativity thrown at me by people, when I have too much happening at once and when A lot of sad or unhappy things happen at one time. 

Having some feelings of negativity is O.K. it comes with sadness and dissapointment and stress.  It is what we do with it that is important.  Life is meant to be enjoyed and to be joyful



There are many ways to become more positive and to be nice inside.  Here are some that work for me

• See the positive side of the experience -The glass half full or half empty scenario.  This can be very hard in some situations so go easy on yourself



• Talk to someone.  If everything is just getting too much have a rant and a rave to a trusted friend or family member.  I feel better sometimes after I have spoken my fears aloud
• Write in a gratitude journal.  This is previous post of how you do gratitude journals http://onemotheratatime.blogspot.com/2011/08/gratitude-journal.html
• Thank people in your life.  From you other half to the postie.  Giving people thanks always makes me feel better
• Serve others.  It always puts my life into perspective.
• Say no to unimportant things when life is busy or when the new thing doesn't match up with your priorities
• Fill you life with positive affirmations IE positive quotes around the house,  positive Friends and family,  time to do what fills your soul
• Love others and yourself.  It takes alot of wasted energy to hate and to be negative.
• Train your thought patterns to more positive things (lots of self help books around for this one if your stuck)
• Give yourself time to get over bad situations.  Be kind to yourself and give yourself some slack if things are just bedlam at this moment.
• Be real.  See reality in the situation some situations call for a good listener not to see the bright side in the situation.

"I can't change the direction of the wind,
but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
Jimmy Dean