What have you done to value 'you' more?

On Thursday 4th August.  I challenged you to spend some time each day to value yourself more.  How did you all do?   I also told you I would let you know how I am getting on.  So here goes....

Each day this week I have tried to find at least 5 minutes to think(sometimes that was 5 min broken up into manageable 1 min slots-in other words I was interrupted a few times with........)



I have reflected on how much more I need to practice this skill as I haven't done it enough for a while.  I discovered that some of me is missing, hidden under layers of other stuff (starting to sound like Shrek ......"ogres are like onions they have layers...." )  So how do I find that stuff?  I have to keep taking time to think,  write, blog, journal and to prioritise time for me.  On way that has helped me in the past,  which I am planning to start again,  is to write a gratitude list each day.  (My post on Saturday will go into depth more on how to do this) When I write things I am grateful for about myself and simple things in life I feel more connected to myself and those around me.  This cartoon says it all......



Try and take a moment today to write 3 things you are grateful for about yourself and 5 things that you are grateful for in you life.  Think from your heart and be creative.  To start with when I wrote about myself it was things like I am grateful for my reading skills or I an grateful for my blues eyes now I find it easier to say I am grateful that I am beautiful (took a long time to get to that point!!!!)

If you need a way to be alone to do this .....maybe this technique will work.....





After you have done this reward yourself with another 5 minutes on your own to read or eat chocolate :)

 

Stages of life

Life goes around in stages.  Our children have stages and so do adults.  I think this is one of the reasons our house has so many clashes in it.  Friction is bound to arise when you have a mother with PMT and a 3 year old on the scene. 

At one point we had 2 teenage girls at 14 and 16,  a preen teen girl, (all hormonal!)  6 year old and a 3 year old all at the same time.  It was not good planning on our behalf!!.  All 5 children all went through very challenging stages all at the same time.  Add to this me with PMT and depression and dad with long working hours you can just imagine the strain that created in our home.  It was hard work but I made it though the other end alive and an added bonus was all the children were alive too : )

A few things helped

• Believing in myself.  Realising I could do this.
• Prioritising time for me.
• Seeking medical help for my depression
• Remembering these stages would pass and change.  
• That I couldn't do everything on my own.  It takes a village to raise a child!
• That stages in life are part of how we learn and grow

And remembering if all else fails a chocolate bar fixes everything : )

Pressure

When I look around me there is so much pressure to be something no one actually can be.  There is  falseness in advertising,  photos and the front people put on for show.  So many women end up feeling like they don't measure up to anything. 

One of my 'favourites' is an advertising campaign by a nappy/diaper company  There is this beautiful, slim, tall, well groomed woman crawling around on a perfectly clean floor with her baby. The baby is clean,  cute,  has no rashes and giggling delightfully at everything the woman does.  The woman has no marks on her knees when she stands,  no bags under her eyes and no greys in the hair.  She is only about 20 and never had a baby. You get the picture. 

I have had a few moments like this with the baby giggling cutely but it usually followed by a drained looking mother with bags under eyes,  stains down her t-shirt, and hair combed 7 hours ago in thin strands around the face.   For many years I felt I never measured up.  Then the light bulb dropped for me.  We can't be like this all the time (or none of the time)  because this isn't real.  I was measuring myself up to an ideal that was non existent.  I couldn't look like that with a baby and my babies could never look like that as they all had reflux and were permanently in bibs and rashy from being wet all the time.  I wasn't a failure I was a normal mum just like all the other normal mums out there.  I was doing my best.  My best was a happy baby and a mum that slept when baby slept (but still looked tired)  I never could achieve a perfectly clean house (actually getting the dishes done some days was a miracle)  or be perfectly groomed everyday as that was completely unrealistic and this was totally O.K. 

My best is all that I need to worry about.  Not someone elses best and that is all that really matters.

Hello and welcome

This is a start of a new blog one that values families,  mothers and their children. 

So to introduce myself .... My name is Catherine Parkinson and I am a stay at home mum of 5 wonderful children.  I have 3 daughters aged 19, 17 and 14 and 2 boys aged 10 and 7.  They are all wonderful and beautiful and very unique.  I have been married for 20 years to Philip, an amazing father and husband.  I am a fabric artist (see my blog at http://catherineparkinson.blogspot.com/ for work that I create)  a primary teacher (elementary school-I only do occasional relieving)  and a general maid :)  to all those who live with me.  Life is hectic,  tiring,  exhausting and sometimes fun! 

So welcome and come on in.  Please feel free to comment on posts, discuss topics of interest and invite others to join us. The more input we have the more we can get out of our discussions.

Let us value our important jobs and love the lives we lead.