Pressure

When I look around me there is so much pressure to be something no one actually can be.  There is  falseness in advertising,  photos and the front people put on for show.  So many women end up feeling like they don't measure up to anything. 

One of my 'favourites' is an advertising campaign by a nappy/diaper company  There is this beautiful, slim, tall, well groomed woman crawling around on a perfectly clean floor with her baby. The baby is clean,  cute,  has no rashes and giggling delightfully at everything the woman does.  The woman has no marks on her knees when she stands,  no bags under her eyes and no greys in the hair.  She is only about 20 and never had a baby. You get the picture. 

I have had a few moments like this with the baby giggling cutely but it usually followed by a drained looking mother with bags under eyes,  stains down her t-shirt, and hair combed 7 hours ago in thin strands around the face.   For many years I felt I never measured up.  Then the light bulb dropped for me.  We can't be like this all the time (or none of the time)  because this isn't real.  I was measuring myself up to an ideal that was non existent.  I couldn't look like that with a baby and my babies could never look like that as they all had reflux and were permanently in bibs and rashy from being wet all the time.  I wasn't a failure I was a normal mum just like all the other normal mums out there.  I was doing my best.  My best was a happy baby and a mum that slept when baby slept (but still looked tired)  I never could achieve a perfectly clean house (actually getting the dishes done some days was a miracle)  or be perfectly groomed everyday as that was completely unrealistic and this was totally O.K. 

My best is all that I need to worry about.  Not someone elses best and that is all that really matters.